You could have it so much better!

Observe:

Specimen 1: John Mayer- good-looking, sensitive, singer-songwriter, kicks ass on guitar, deep lyrics, amazing voice, talented, smart:



Specimen 2: Jessica Simpson: Can't really sing, tries to act, which is even worse. Blonde bimbo who tries to make herself look smarter by dying her hair. Has the most annoying southern accent I've ever heard. Wears really ugly clothes:



Mix them together and you get:



Something is very wrong here.
Get out while you still can, John!



Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood. They say we stand for nothin' and there's no way we ever could,
Moi